Aren’t you happy?
To be here among riches
To fall asleep knowing that tomorrow
You can get just what you crave
You can jump on a train
And find yourself miles away
Get on and off planes
Get a coffee
Attend a concert
Feel the pressure of moving
At each coming holiday
Because why would you limit yourself
When nothing limits you
Aren’t you happy of your privileges?
Of going round and round
Trying and failing at fitting in
Unsure of your next move
Falling asleep on your sweet bed
But waking up, panicky
Worried about petty things
What if they forget?
The way you laugh
The way you would toss aside
Every single bean on your plate
The way you would travel back and forth
From college each day
Because it was too hard to stay away
What if they forget that you were ever there?
Maybe you’re just teaching them
How to live without you
Or you worry about big things
What if they are not safe?
What if they are not there waiting for you
When you finally go back
What if you find an empty house
The echo of laughter that long vanished
Rubbles where once love was
But isn’t solitude a small price to pay
For safe streets, light that never goes off
Screams that don’t stem from fear
Loud noises that aren’t that of gunshots
Home is a killing ground
At home, when you go out
You might never come back
Home will charm you with fleeting laughs
While slowly choking your dreams
Home is a prison
Where you’re left to die
But it is also a song that you recognize
Morning coffee, food that you secretly hate
But that you miss when you’re away
Streets where you fell in love
Secret spots where you were first kissed
Dark rooms where you learned to desire
Home is this place that you never stop to love
Even after it takes everything from you
So no, I’m not happy
I long for home a thousand times over
But I smile and pretend
A thousand more
I’m more torn than you’ll ever guess
But I play the part, don’t I?
Aren’t you happy?
Magdalee Brunache
“Nostalgia”, Painting by Rajasekharan Parameswaran
Bold and Mighty 
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