A man can make you smile
Even if you don’t mean to
So afraid you are to see
The ice setting in his eyes
When you refuse to act “pretty”
A man can make your eyes shine
From the tears that you shed
On his heavy silences
His scathing words
When he tells you you’re nothing
That your beauty has faded
And what more can you be
Than a young and beautiful face
A man can make your heart beat faster
The second he walks in
The air is sucked out
The laughs die down
You can hardly take your eyes
Away from him
As you wonder
“Has anyone hurt him today?”
‘Cause if he’s hurt then you’ll be
Your heart races as you get closer
Slowly you paint a smile on your lips
And long again for his absence
A man can make your hands shake
You’re setting his plate on the table
Barely daring to meet his gaze
He jokes about how you
Sweet, docile you
Are his favorite meal
But you’re no fool
His verdict, you know, is implacable
You don’t feel confident today
All day, you felt your lower back breaking
Pain eating you, bite after bite
Month after month
But you got up and cooked this food
That he just spat at you
The thread holding your sanity
Has never felt so thin
This man sometimes
Leaves you speechless
A lump growing in your throat
You’ve never liked asking
But what choice you have
When you have nothing
You’ve been looking at him for some time
As you try to choke your pride
And remember the gaping mouths
Waiting for you somewhere
His touch makes you quiver
Your body never ceases to protest
The price that you have to pay
A man can make you blush
Your skin turning violently red
Emulating the ground beneath you
You find yourself
Scraping and flooding
Never freed of his scent
Never freed of his touch
Wondering if you’ll ever feel whole again
He can make you his
His thing, his caged bird
He built walls around you
While you were busy loving him
You lost your voice
From so much time wasted in silence
When any word from you
Made him feel unworthy
From the many times
That he looked down on you
Asking you if it was
THAT time of the month
When you tried telling him
That he made you feel unworthy
You became invisible
Though you felt like you were finally seen
But your freedom was the fortress
That, all along,
He longed to besiege
A man can leave you breathless
Shivering under his hands
Your body forgetting that it ever stood straight
You have never felt so close to the earth
So small and painfully alive
All your muscles tending
Fearing and expecting the next blow
He knows just how to blow you away
You finally stop fighting
As he leaves you
Bloody and whimpering
He knows just who he is
He is a man
Only some men will make you cry
And cry with you
When they let you in
Taking you behind the mask
To see the little boy who wanting
To love and being loved
Was told to go and conquer
And lost bits and pieces of himself
On his path to manhood
The man willing to heal and learn
Will not be a man
Or so they will say
But he won’t mind
Because he will be much more
He will be human
Magdalee Brunache
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